it was the trees

I was alone in my room, I turned out all the lights, curled up in a blanket, opened the big window by my bed, and just sat in bed and soaked up the glory of the night- God was so present. He was there, pursuing me, ushering me to come forth to Him. I spoke to Him in a new way last night. I told Him of my heart, I let Him see it. And I yearned to see Him. I felt like a woman in love and I felt beautiful because I knew he loved me. Two years ago God showed Himself to me in the sky, and I have been enamored with it ever since. Last night it was the trees, swaying in the breeze. That was Him. There was something about Him in those trees that is more real than most things I know. It was raw. No lights, no programs, free from the taint that is inherent to this world. It was just Him and me, and it was a terrific rendezvous.

I am beginning to feel something small inside me beckoning me to experience God and life as they truly are. Not in this world of Christian music radio, church buildings, and all the Western muck that has attempted to box in my Jesus. He cannot be boxed in, so I fear that maybe they have just boxed themselves, with blinders and smoke screens that inhibit them from relationship with the Holy One. There is something inside me that wants to flee from such and have nothing to do with it. God can get around our silly inventions- our pews, our hymnals, our Sunday school classes. I know because if it were not so I would have never been found.

There is a fierceness inside me that wants to know my God away from all of that. I want to grasp the dirt and know Him, I want to dance in a wide, open field and love Him, I want to breathe and embrace Him. I want to look and behold, read and touch, smile and be smiled upon. He told me He is making all things new- and although in this present life I will never be able to fully escape our humanly boxes, one day I will be free.

He is revealing Himself to me as more glorious than I ever knew. He beckons me to fall into His strong, encompassing arms and find all the fulfillment in existence. He soothed my heart and told me not to worry about the orphans, or the little girls, or having a home on earth. This world is tainted, and the only place that will fill me is in His arms, in His gaze, beneath His wings.