two weeks

Tonight is the perfect English evening. At ten o'clock the sky is a milky blue softly stroked with the shades of nightfall. As the faded halfmoon appears and daylight slips away, my wander over to the computer lab to write this is slow. That good kind slow. That quiet kind of slow. That thoughtful kind of slow.

I keep coming back to that Donald Miller quote I shared a couple months ago:

And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.
I want to repeat one word for you: Leave.
Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed.

-Donald Miller, Through Painted Deserts

For the first time tonight, I read that quote and, rather than thinking about leaving Texas, I think about leaving England. The place where I've seen summer and winter...mountains...roses...God...so much. Back in January it was so difficult to leave Texas, to leave my family, my country, my culture, everything I had ever known. Today, it hurts to think about what it's going to feel like to leave England.

It is now England that I must muster the courage to leave.

What that means, though, is not that I'm not looking forward to home. Rather, it makes me realize just the opposite. Going home is going to be an adventure, just like coming here six months ago was. I'm looking forward to returning to the South, spending the summer with my family, going kyacking, calling every person I know on the telephone, and my senior year at Hendrix. My last year of college is going to be absolutely amazing. Between living with two of the most awesome girls in this world (I've searched far and wide--they're as awesome as girls come), getting completely caught up again in how much I love school (seriously. I routinely look at my course schedule for next year because it makes me so excited), and becoming a part of the Hendrix community again, it's going to be a great year.

 

It doesn't mean I'm not going to cry hysterically when I get on that plane. I have to leave. But leaving, just like it was the first time around, is going to be an adventure. A beautiful one. 

America, see you in two weeks. 

Until then, England, let's have the time of our life. 

♥