Brockeyva

deep dimples

mischievous grin
eyes

eyes like she doesn't want to feel
but she wants you to love her

and when she does feel,
it is deep
hard
strong

and beautiful.

she made me scream
and sing
and run away to cry

she made me angry
frustrated
hands clenched

in love.

in love with that smile that covered her whole face
pushing bookshelves and blackboards out of the room
leaving only her.

she was beautiful like an old woman
a complicated kind of beauty
the kind that simultaneously infuriates you
and draws you nearer

she stretched me 'til I broke
and then I saw

she was something hidden in a dusty mirror
because I never knew if she made me laugh
or cry
or what the difference was, really.

because there were scratches in her smile
clouds in her eyes
a bend in her dimples

a little girl
with little girl hands
little girl tears
and little girl smiles
little girl lights

but something was so dim

and i never saw clearly
but i knew there was something there

and i couldn't look away

look away, no,
I never will.